A Series of very fortunate events

Mr Brightside

2005-11-26T16:49:00.000-08:00

found someone who makes me smile again ... been like a kite flying around aimlessly with my string let go .. ... filling my life with happy things .. no more sad things ...

2005-11-15T21:30:00.000-08:00

The rollercoaster is going up again .. but i can see it's gonna be quite a bumpy trip ahead .. but i won't let that affect me .. i will find happiness .. no matter how many of you have come and gone .. i'll keep my smile on ..

2005-11-12T17:22:00.000-08:00

LET ME GO

2005-11-10T14:31:00.000-08:00

i wished sometimes that there would be someone out there thinking about me .. no one seems to be thinking of chua yijun ... fading into oblivion ... i said maybe ... your gonna be the one that saves me .. and after all your my wonderwall ...

2005-11-10T00:45:00.000-08:00

i'm trying .. i really am .. i'll try to fill the emptiness you left with happy things i promise .. i'll stop assuming .. assume.. it just makes an ass out of u and me ...

Project mayhem

2005-11-09T22:19:00.000-08:00

maybe there's already someone new .. maybe he was there all along .... don't think .. don't think .. you are no one special .. we are the running , living bullshit of the world .. destroy all emotional debt and start from ground zero .. project mayhem .. i am Yijun's tear of emotional inacceptence ....

2005-11-07T00:41:00.000-08:00

The first rule of fight club is ...
The second rule of fight club is ...
Today i am Yijun's parsimonious love of chaotic retrospect ..

2005-11-04T17:23:00.000-08:00

spent the whole day in my room watching DVDs .. smoking .. i've never felt so alone in my life .... i am yijun's jaded sense of self denial ..

2005-11-04T12:53:00.000-08:00

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Blood In Blood Out
no more no more ..
hahahahahahhahahahahhahaha

2005-11-02T16:50:00.000-08:00

Today i Died

2005-11-02T12:02:00.000-08:00

looks like i've already been forgotten ..
thanks ...
Now I AM back to square one ...
lets see how long i take for it to die ..
lets play a game ...
lets see how long i need to forget you ..
we're playing for fun ...
no stakes involved ..
cause i know you'll definitely win ..
hahahahahaha...
let's start playing games ...
i wanna play ..
don't wanna be played any more ..
i wanna play ...
......

2005-10-30T18:12:00.000-08:00

She seemed dressed in all of me,stretched across my shame.All the torments and the pain,leak through and covered me.I'd do anything to have her to myself,just to have her for myself.Now I don't know what to do,I don't know what to doWhen she makes me sad.She is everything to me, the unrequited dream,the song that no one sings, the unattainable.She's a myth that I have to believe in,all I need to make it real is one more reason.I don't know what to do,I don't know what to doWhen she makes me sad.But I won't let this build up inside of me,I won't let this build up inside of me,I won't let this build up inside of me, I won't let this build up inside of me.A catch in my throat, Choke, Torn into pieces,I won't, no,I don't want to be this,But I won't let this build up inside of me,I won't let this build up inside of me,I won't let this build up inside of me,I won't let this build up inside of me.She isn't real,I can't make her real.She isn't real,I can't make her real.

2005-10-30T18:00:00.000-08:00

I'm so tired of being here Suppressed by all my childish fears And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave cause your presence still lingers here And it won't leave me alone These wounds won't seem to heal This pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase When you cried I wiped away all of your tears When you'd scream I fight away all of your fears And I've held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me You used to captivate me By your resonating light Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind Your face, it haunts My once pleasant dreams Your voice it chased away All of the sanity in me These wounds won't seem to heal This pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase When you cried I wiped away all of your tears When you'd scream I fight away all of your fears And I've held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone But though you're still with me I've been alone all along When you cried I wiped away all of your tears When you'd scream I fight away all of your fears And I've held your hand through all of these years But you still have all of me

2005-10-27T21:00:00.000-07:00

i hoped it was me but i know now it's not .. so for now i'll listen to sad songs and be sad.. tommorrow i'll be happy .. it was so hard to let go this time .. i'm still trying .. guess life has to go on whether you stay or leave .. honestly i really love your smile .. and i know you have to be happy .. like i always say u deserve to be ... notthing should be so important that it gets in the way of happiness .. especially not someone like me .. so for one last time .. tiramisu .. malibu ..colourful ... we're back to square one ..

2005-10-26T20:52:00.000-07:00

teach me how to let go so easily .. i can't seem to understand how ..

falling

2005-10-25T21:40:00.000-07:00

THE ROLLERCOASTER"S ON ITS WAY DOWN AGAIN .......

2005-10-21T17:40:00.000-07:00

i fell in love with a girl .. today i realised that i'm still in love with her ... i can't imagine the day i'm not ..

today i also smiled a happy smile ..

you were so so on my mind today ..

i love you miss kim ..

a rainy day

2005-10-16T14:23:00.000-07:00

Was reading this book and there was this part where this guy went back to his ex girlfriend after many years out of the blue to tell her to be happy and that he has forgiven her and that he no longer hates her .. started thinking about the power of forgiveness .. sometimes we get blinded by all the negetive things about a break up to see all the things that has been good or positive about it .. i should be happy that i once had the love of someone i love .. i should be happy about the memories .. i shouldn't be sad that i lost a lover but that i should be happy i haven't lost a friend ... thank you for loving me .. thanks for giving me something that was true ...

Today i smiled a happy smile ....

Bread - i would give everything i own

2005-10-11T19:00:00.000-07:00

You sheltered me from harm
You kept me warm,
you kept me warm

You gave my life to me
You set me free,
you set me free

The finest years I ever knew
For all the years I had with you
And I would give everything I own
I'd give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give everything I own
Just to have you back again

You taught me how to love
What a time,
what a time

You never said too much,
but still you showed the way
And I knew from watching you

And nobody else could ever know...
The part of me that can't let go

And I would give everything I own
I'd give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give everything I own
Just to have youBack again

Is there someone you know, Your loving them so
But taking them all for granted
You may lose them one day
Someone takes them away
And they don't hear the words you long to say

And i would give anything i own
give up my life, my heart , my home
I would give everything i won ,
just to have you back again
just to touch you once again .....

DREAMS

2005-10-10T21:00:00.000-07:00

I had a dream

I dreamt you were sleeping beside me

It was a dream

rest in peace

2005-10-09T11:01:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of acting happy .. so since today is the sabbath (sunday) i guess i'll stop acting , at least for today ... it's starting to well up in me .. the myriad of emotions .. i know its the same old bullshit .. i tell myself i'll be alright but still the emotions come ... its like i'm starting to hate the world and everything thats in it .. my temper is getting worst .. i'm losing interest in the things i were interested in .. dissapointment .. i thought things would work out .. not enough .. just not enough of love .. its so easy to fill up that void left by love with hate , anger ... gave you the key to my heart but u threw it away ... starting to think jadist thoughts again ... but it felt so real .. how could it be wrong .. but if its right why does it hurt so much .. i feel pathetic ... don't worry i'll be fine .. i guess its true what you say .. protect yourself .. love like there's no tommorrow .. love YOURSELF like there's no tommorrow that is ......

JADED

2005-10-08T16:35:00.000-07:00

Jaded

aspiring happy jadist

Bent

not broken

Foolish

that i got caught up in this silly obsession called Love

Sorry

I promise i'll get better

a sad smile .. but never the less its a start ..

2005-10-06T08:18:00.000-07:00

its hard to keep so calm when you know someone you love doesn't love you enough ... its hard to fall asleep when you know she has decided to let go .. back to life .. back to reality .. maybe it was just a beautiful dream .. a sad smile .. but never the less its a start .. on the road to happiness ... someone has to start somewhere even if it seems like your in the darkness of depression .. may the lord have mercy on my soul .. may he shed light on my path .. i pray ... good night ...

2005-10-05T20:40:00.000-07:00

T H E V E R Y L A S T T I M E .. it's hard to prevent your heart from turning cold .... it's hard to stop your soul from being jaded .. it's hard to be happy .. but i'll be ..

Abandoned

2005-10-04T13:00:00.000-07:00

After realisations of one own self ,

Before the hope of someone else ,

Advent the emergence of dispair ,

Neccessities withdrawn my Soul to bare ,

Dawn upon me this cursed fate ,

Obstinate Love i came too late ,

Nebulous tears and futile wait ,

Epilogue of disconsolate sighs ,

Deafening thing this word Goodbye .

Fix You

2005-10-03T22:00:00.000-07:00

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
when you're too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face and I
Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

2005-10-03T05:12:00.000-07:00

T H E V E R Y L A S T T I M E

prayer or wish

2005-09-26T02:04:00.000-07:00

Sorry that i was late .. i should have come earlier in your life .. then maybe you wouldn't have been so hurt .. i cannot imagine what you've been thru , maybe its cause u don't tell me . i pray things will be better .. sometimes i ask myself if i have gotten over the pain in my life .. sometimes i ask myself if it is ever possible to .. don't worry .. sleep is all i can do now .. i'm just glad to be back .. back to you .. thank you for loving me .. maybe someday you'll love me enough to forget about the pain .. maybe someday will come ... maybe ... sleep .. . ... .. ......... . . . . . . .

I'm back ....

2005-09-24T21:07:00.000-07:00

finally back from hellhole Brunei .. haha .. got the badge .. haha ..hope i never return to that place again ..more details in my next post .. haha ... glad to be back ..

Jungle confidence course

2005-08-30T17:40:00.000-07:00

Hopefully i come back with one of these

wish me luck

i'm leaving on a jet plane ..

2005-08-30T17:33:00.000-07:00

six and a half more hours before i go to the airport .. apprehensive about brunei .. hope to treat it in a fun and enjoyable way .. hoping time passes quickly .. three weeks seems like a short yet long time .. i am going to miss you so so much .. your voice and image is going to be whats driving me thru this shit .. haha .. cause i'm leaving on a jet plane .. don't know when i'll be back again ... oh baby i hate to go ... please miss me .. cause i'll be missing you ..

Dreaming of you

2005-08-30T17:30:00.000-07:00

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up late and think of you
and I wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too

'Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight
'Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

Wonder if you ever see me and I wonder if you
Know I'm there (Am I there)
If you looked in my eyes would you see what's inside
Would you even care

I just wanna hold you close but so far
All I have are dreams of you
So I wait for the day and the courage to say
How much I love you

I'll dreaming of you tonight'
Til tomorrow I'll be holding you tight
And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me

I can't stop dreaming of you
I can't stop dreaming
I can't stop dreaming of you

Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up and think of you
And I still can't believe that
You came up to me and said
I love you
I love you too

I'll be dreaming with you tonight
'Til tomorrow and for all of my life
And there's nowhere in the world l'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming with you endlessly

memories ..

2005-08-30T16:30:00.000-07:00

Was ramaging thru some of my stuff today as i was packing my room when i chanced upon my old passport photo taken before i enlisted ( when i still had long hair) .. as you can see i looked slightly different last time .. and also as you can see i am very bored ..hahahaha ...

why does it always have to be this hard

2005-08-27T18:20:00.000-07:00

i don't care anymore .. the world will always have something to say .. the world always decides .. let go just let go .. somethings are beyond control .. at least beyond my control .. let go .. let go ... but i know deep inside , deep inside my heart .. the world may own my worldly possesions , everything i am .. but it will never own my heart .. and all i can hear it saying is one word .. "Colourful" .. why must it always be so hard .. and the world just keeps whispering .. let go .. let go ....

confessions

2005-08-27T17:35:00.000-07:00

i am not sad .. i am not sad .. i am not sad .. i am just ........ dissapointed . The fustration that you feel when you put your heart and soul into something but somehow someone just keeps saying that you are not genuine , you are not there .. if i was not enough i could give more but this is not even the case .. this is not in the same vicinity as not enough this was a case of accusations of never there .. the realisation that i am just a number in the list .. the utter feeling of irony .. hurt ... no one's fault .. the smile goes on ...

whispers of a wounded heart

2005-08-27T05:30:00.000-07:00

don't make me out to be not trustworthy
when you don't trust people
don't say someone doesn't love you
when you don't allow people to love you
don't belittle people's efforts
when you expect more then enough
don't expect honesty
when you cannot take the truth
don't make people out to be liars
when you don't make the effort to find out
don't expect things to be one sided
when you are so complexed
don't hope that i am perfect
when everyone has a history
don't leave me and say it's alright
when you don't know how it feels
don't say you love me
when you never really did....

i love mummy!

2005-08-26T19:32:00.000-07:00

just spent the last min head banging with my mum to "spit it out" by slipknot shouting "fuck me , i'm all out of enemies" .. haha .. i love my mum .. then she goes on to say osim should make machines so that people can head bang without worrying of spraining their necks ..hahaha .. how can anyone blame me for being warped when my mummy's lagi warped .. hahahaha ..

value for money

2005-08-26T09:40:00.000-07:00

some of the pictures from our ktv session at partyworld .. sang like a mad man as usual ... all of us came wearing white .. coincidence ?? the picture of us four looks like a boy band or something right ?? haha .. thanks for being understanding ... thanks for understanding i have a lousy voice .. haha .. true friends i tell you ... hahahaha ...

a good nights rest

2005-08-26T08:56:00.000-07:00

had a good night's rest .. woke up today feeling alright... the full picture is becoming clearer and clearer to me .. random thoughts are becoming more focused .. haha .. i finally laughed .. like from not being sad .. better enjoy this feeling before my brunei blues kick in again ..hahahahaha ..

really fake plastic trees

2005-08-25T16:01:00.000-07:00

i guess i was listening to the wrong verse ..

"it feels like the real thing
it taste like the real thing
my fake plastic love ...
but i can't help the feeling
i could blow thru the ceiling
if i just turn and run "

"it wears me out , it wears me out
it wears me out , it wears me out "

being in love with me is wearing you out .. i'm not what you want or need , i'm not the one whom you are looking for .. the one who can bring you happiness .... at least not right now .. i thought i was .. i thought many things .. too many things .. i bless you with love .. everyone needs somebody to love .. you deserve so much love .. find somebody to love ...

falling out of love ..

2005-08-25T15:41:00.000-07:00

You always seem to be hiding something .. everything is shrouded in doubt ... so many things still a mystery .. amazing how you can keep so calm about it .. but i guess thats the natural reaction when you start falling out of love .. but don't worry like i promised no more sad things ..

Fake plastic trees ...

2005-08-20T19:00:00.000-07:00

"If I could be who you wanted ... If I could be who you wanted all the time .... All the time...All the time..." i can still hear her whispering in my ear .. the girl who doesn't even know she means the world to me ...

Who moved the cheese from the tiramisu cheese cake?

2005-08-20T13:21:00.000-07:00

I was faked by Cafe cartel .. there's no cheese in their Tiramisu cheese cake .. tried and tested .. you drive me crazy .. you make me go all fuzzy and wuzzy .. i can't explain what i feel when i see you and i can't explain what i feel when i don't see you .. wow .. amazing .. thats all i can say .. u have that ability to make me lose myself .. to feel emotions that i've never felt before .. well guess that now that the day is nearing for me to fly overseas .. i can't seem to even imagine what it would be like not being able to see you , contact you .. but i guess you'll get plenty of space and time in this three weeks plus .. don't worry i promise i won't be flirting with the jungle women of the Brunie jungles ... hahaha ..tiramisu big time .. tiramisu long time ... Brunei is gonna suck big time and long time too .. but at least i'll have you on my mind .. hmmm . Jcc hmmm haha don't even know wat to say man .. i guess i'll just go and get that jungle confidence thing on ... wish me good luck ...haha ...

Your lulluby

2005-08-19T12:40:00.000-07:00

Try to sleep now close your eyes
soon the birds will stop singing
gentle stars are twinkling bright
i'll be switching off the light
one more kiss one more hug
kiss you once kiss you twice
i'll be here for awhile
try to sleep now and close your eyes

The sky is falling .. the sky is falling ..

2005-08-17T13:30:00.000-07:00

woke up with a start today .. you know one of thoese wake ups where you don't know where you are~~ and you just think like am i still in a dream and where the fuck am i kinda wake ups .. that was one of thoese .. and then it dawned upon me that yes i was in mr room .. and the things that have transpassed in my life this last week was reality .. wierdo feeling man .. like almost as if i was surprised .. how can i be surprised by something i was affected about the whole of last week .. haha .. i am going abit nuts .. thinking lots of crazy things .. as usual .. thought about chicken little and his whole gang of crazy muther fucking sky scamppering idiots and thought of a name for myself if i was inside .. i'd be called WEED BUNNY ... hahahahha.. high as hell on grass hopping along with the whole jim gang running away from our imminient DOOM!~!~! whacked , warped but so very exciting ..at least that world seems like a happy place .. anyway .. it's alright since my life is and never ceases to be one big giangantic joke .. haha .. everytime i think its different , special it turns around and slaps me in the fucking face .. WAKE UP MRCHUA .. what makes YOU think your going to be that fucking lucky bastard who wins the big sweep , who crawls out of the plane wreck as the only survivor that lucky bastard who finds true love .. haha ... one big fat fucking joke ... i'm one of thoese people who buys 4d but keeps seeing the numbers jumping around .. when i thought i've got it in the bag .. it falls out of the hole in the pocket ... forward and onward .. i remember that used to be my primary sch motto .. haha .. how appropriate .. how nice to just keep going forward and onward .. but what if i don't wanna go forward and onward anymore .. i'm so fucking tired .. guess i'm still holding on to the ticket and hoping i strike it big one day ... till than let the music play and the clowns shall dance with me as the people laugh ... look out the sky is falling , the sky is falling~!~!~!

Bitter sweet symphony

2005-08-16T23:24:00.000-07:00

Cause it's a bitter sweet symphony that's life...
Try to make ends meet , you're a slave to the money then you die.
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down...
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah.

No change, I can change, I can change, I can change,
but I'm here in my mould ,
I am here in my mould.
But I'm a million different people from one day to the next...
I can't change my mould
no,no,no,no,no,no,no

Well I've never prayed,But tonight I'm on my knees, yeah.
I need to hear some sounds that recognise the pain in me, yeah.
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind , I feel free now.
But the airwaves are clean and there's nobody singing to me now.

No change, I can change, I can change, I can change,
but I'm here in my mould , I am here in my mould.
And I'm a million different people from one day to the nextI can't change my mould, no,no,no,no,no,no,no

Have you ever been down?
I can change, I can change...
Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life.
Trying to make ends meet, try to find somebody then you die.
You know I can change, I can change, I can change,
but I'm here in my mould, I am here in my mould.
And I'm a million different people from one day to the next.
I can't change my mould,
no,no,no,no,no,no,no

We've got ya sex and violence melody and silence
(Have you ever been down)
(I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down)

Bent

2005-08-16T23:06:00.000-07:00

If I fall along the way
pick me up and dust me off.
and if I get too tired to make it
be my breath so I can walk

If I need some other love
give me more than I can stand
and when my smile gets old and faded
wait around I'll smile again
shouldn't be so complicated
just hold me and then
just hold me again

can you help me
I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
get put back together
you're breaking me in
and this is how we will end
with you and me bent

If I couldn't sleep could you sleep
could you paint me better off
could you sympathize with my needs
I know you think I need a lot

I started out clean but I'm jaded
just phoning it in
just breaking the skin

start bending me
It's never enough
I feel all your pieces
start bending me
Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in

shouldn't be so complicated
just touch me and then
just touch me again

.. best of three .. post it ...

2005-08-13T00:16:00.000-07:00

omnipee is a stoopid man! no more sad things...

The eternal darkness of the confused mind ....

2005-08-12T18:00:00.000-07:00

So confused .. it may seem awhile to you but to me it's eternal .. time .. yes my one and only friend and enemy ..

Secret Garden

2005-08-12T17:52:00.000-07:00

She'll let you in her house
If you come knockin' late at night
She'll let you in her mouth if theWords you say are right

If you pay the price
She'll let you deep inside
But there's a secret garden she hides

She'll let you in her car
To go drivin' round
She'll let you into the parts of herself
That'll bring you down

She'll let you in herheart
If you got a hammer and a vise
But into her secret garden, don't think twice

You've gone a million miles
How far'd you get to that place where
You can't remember and you can't forget

She'll lead you down a path
There'll be tenderness in the air
She'll let you come just far enough
So you know she's really there
She'll look at you and smile
And her eyes will say
She's got a secret garden
Where everything you want
Where everything you need
Will always stay a million miles away

Collide

2005-08-12T14:36:00.000-07:00

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And i'm tangled up in you

yeahI'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow findYou and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to knowI'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Don't stop here
I've lost my place
I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide

Forgive them for they know not what they do ..

2005-08-12T14:13:00.000-07:00

divine help neeeded~!~! too many things on my mind now but i just can't say it out .. it's like i've been thinking about the same old thing so much that it becomes a blank .. drinking abit more then usual .. usual has been cut down to really very little.. it might be you , i've been waiting for all of my life .. gloomy .. yes , thats the word .. not moody but gloomy .. so stop asking me why i'm so mooody .. i'm gloomy not moody .. finally dived again after so many months .. its enlightening to be diving after jumping out of planes its good to be back in the water .. its nirvanic being in that otherworld out of the plane or in the water ... prehaps my thoughts can be better projected in songs .... Lord i need you now more then ever .. let me be your little drummer boy .. i have not much to give , i really am a poor boy too .. prehaps what i have is only good enough for you .. i'm not good enough for anyone else ... human preception of love .. only you have unconditional love .. sometimes i just wish people could trust more .. including me .. i love you ... really ... congrats on your new niece .. babies are a gift of love to this world .. untainted and so full of hope .. so much potential in a small little package .. so much love for someone whom you don't even know .. a stranger whom you'd die for .. i guess maybe there can be unconditional love after all .. maybe things aren't that bad .. maybe there's hope for life after all .. forgive them for they know not what they do ...

Lola the lucky aloha luohan dog .. get well soon be ...

2005-08-05T11:13:00.000-07:00

she's down with a viral infection .. hmmm .. sounds really painful . Don't know what it feels like to be down with that .. won 2 dollars in mahjong yesterday .. haha.. went to her place to play .. currently hooked to listening to the same few songs on my shuffle .. "when we dance " by sting , "California" by phantom planet , "counterfeit" by limp bizkit and "feel good inc" by the gorrillaz .. don't you just love the gorrillaz .. things seem to be going fine .. hmmmm .. going on fine .. well very well .. you never seem to amaze me with your mind reading ..haha.. i was like thinking yesterday "shit" cannot smoke , but never mind i'll just tahan ..(i just have to smoke when i drink or play mahjong) ..when u suddenly brought the ash trays in .. shocking truth of 2005 .. haha.. and i was like thinking if only we had snacks when u came in with the slightly spicy tapioca yummy chips .. and thanks for bringing me luck praying so hard for my tile together with Lola the lucky aloha luohan dog ..hahaha.. you are missed ..

L . I . F . E

2005-08-02T15:24:00.000-07:00

I have made a decision to be happy , i have made a decision to stop poisoning myself , i have made a decision to love someone , thats life , sometimes u just don't get a second chance .. i've found someone who makes me really happy , who's really willing to understand and accept me for who i am and not what i am .. I'm not some super smart fellow or some hongkong actor or even a high flying army officer .. i am who i am .. sometimes there are just no second chances .. thou my wing may be broken .. you make me wanna fly again .. i pray for happiness and joy for everone i know but above all i pray for peace , at least for myself .. sometimes life just gets too tiring .. too fast .. and before you know it so many things have happened .. peace will open my eyes to whats really important .. sometimes you have to remember that whats really important in life are just the important things ...

in the tradition of all things white

2005-08-01T03:00:00.000-07:00

Ok , this is what i look like in uniform . Hmmm not bad if i do say so myself . But it's a prick when u wanna find some place to sit cause the whole thing is like fucking white , not that i'm complaining , you know i have alway liked white things . nice and white . Parade's starting to become quite a bore , drag ass , but glad its coming to an end . Yeah its the fucking nation's birthday , who gives a flying fuck , anyway glad you enjoyed your birthday , yeah , it does seem rather endless with so many groups of people wanting to celebrate it for you . Abnormally happy , hmmm, don't worry , i'll make it a point for happiness to become normal to you . The thought of you makes me smile , and these thoughts do come rather a pleanty thru out the day . sneaking in and out of my mind , you sneaky bitch .. tell lola not to go meet her boyfriends , we go play mahjong ?? haha .. anyway lost 23 dollars at mahjong .. kana shot by so many stray bullets , 5 tai , 4 tai , 5 tai , 4 tai , hmmmm , issit true that when your lucky in love your unlucky in gambling? hahaha .. then i pray i will always be unlucky in gambling .. but i think it's alright , things seem fine , everything is Bon , very Bon ...

Necklaces , fish&chips and hoegarden

2005-07-29T17:47:00.000-07:00

Birthday celebrations at Bugis Billy Bombers .. loads of food , good food , and cheerios all around .. followed by a walk down to Beaver's for some Hoegarden .. there's something about birthdays that make me feel nice and fuzzy inside , puts a smile on my face it does , especially when it's her birthday ..

Thoese were the days......

2005-07-29T02:57:00.000-07:00

Even when the photos start to fade ... you know somethings never change .... the happy faces may change to sad ones sometimes ... the road is long ... thanks for walking with me ...

L . O . V . E

2005-07-28T01:31:00.000-07:00

As Mr Tom " Jerry meguire " Cruise wouldav said .. " You complete me " . Just back from the Airport and it feels so wierd but so right at the same time . The final pieces of the puzzle have finally settled , nestled , into place . The Love puzzle . Love never fails to amaze me , Life never fails to amaze me , You never fail to amaze me ... i guess you had me at " Hello" . Anyway HAPPY 23rd BIRTHDAY !!!! hope you like the present i got you ... hope you like everything , above all things i hope i made you happy , like how you make me happy .. genuinely happy .. super duper happy ..... supercalifragelisticexpialidosious happy ...

Mr Chua

2005-07-27T10:48:00.000-07:00

Egoistical often narcarcisstic .... i can never seem to get this right ...

My Space

2005-07-27T10:38:00.000-07:00

My own little pad ..

Down .. but not out ..

2005-07-26T00:28:00.000-07:00

The things you say affect me , i can't help it but feel discouraged ... but i'm not letting go .. no way .. not when it feels so Goddamm special and not when it feels so freaking right .. i still think your worth it .. every molecule of my body agrees with me on this ..

The Prodigy

2005-07-24T22:31:00.000-07:00

The ultimate in electronica music , the Fat of the land album will forever be the epitome of the Prodigy spirit .. Hard , Fast and very industrial .. it's the only album which i can listen to again and again and again ... well you get my point .. also considering that its the album that i've bought the most number of times . The first being in sec 3 (1997) when it first came out , lent to a friend , didn't come back , again in poly (1999) and after suffering the same fate as it's predessesor the last time in 2004 where now it's safe in my cabinet . Highly recommended to anyone who likes the beat hard and the bass booming.. really gets you into one of thoese party hard , drink loads of shit and don't fuck with me moods .. Fav tracks include Smack my bitch up , breath , Diesel power , mindfields , and Firestarter .. go get it .. you won't regret .. Prodigy rocks big time . Respect .

Hero

2005-07-24T02:59:00.000-07:00

Would you dance
if I asked you to dance?
Would you run and never look back?
Would you cry if you saw me cry?
And would you save my soul, tonight?

Would you tremble if I touched your lips?
Would you laugh? Oh please tell me this.
Now would you die
for the one you loved?
Hold me in your arms, tonight.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.

Would you swear that you'll always be mine?
Or would you lie? would you run and hide?
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don't care...You're here tonight.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.
Oh, I just want to hold you.
I just want to hold you.
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don't care...You're here tonight.

I can be your hero, baby.
I can kiss away the pain.
I will stand by your forever.
You can take my breath away.
I can be your hero.
I can kiss away the pain.
And I will stand by you forever.
You can take my breath away.
You can take my breath away.

I can be your hero.

Wet Dreams 2

2005-07-24T01:28:00.000-07:00

Fairly all right looking main male lead , not really very good looking female leads but totally stupid and lousy plot . Wet dreams 2 doesn't turn out funny nor romantic nor heart wrenching as you would suppose out of most Korean movies . In fact it wasn't much of anything .. i sat thru the movie wanting to fall asleep hoping for an extraordinary funny or touching moment but it never came .. and furthermore it finished on a very sudden and totally wrong note . Wet dreams two was obviously a movie trying to cash in on the success of the much better Wet dreams 1 without trying to break new ground what so ever . The whole movie basically was about a guy who farts when he gets aroused , and thats about it .. notthing much happens besides that . In short ; lousy show , don't go watch it if you are expecting something like the first movie , its not a good first date show , not a good date show or a good anything show . Don't even watch it if you have no other movies to watch ; it's just a waste of your precious time on earth , its like equivelent to watch an earthworm crawl out of it's hole or like watching beansprouts grow . Looks like this wet dream turned out to be more of a nightmare . I give it 2/10

Happiness returns..

2005-07-24T01:22:00.000-07:00

Thank GOD happiness is returning today .. you have been so missed since you left ... felt abit lost when you weren't around . Had so many random comments to make and no one to make them to .. glad that your coming back today ... thank GOD for aeroplanes .. thank GOD your back ...

leaving on a jet plane ...

2005-07-22T16:52:00.000-07:00

Taiwan . The country that brought great things like my pri sch best friend , leggy model zhang zi lin and the oh so yummylicious xiang ji pa ... Taiwan .. or particularly in this case Taipei ....
one call and she's flying to Taipei .. won't be back till sunday .. Taipei ... hmmm .. i've never been to Taipei .. now's a good time to go Taipei right? Would be fun spending a weekend in Taipei with my dear omni ass .. well .. looks like i gotta stare reality right in the eyes this time .. i'll be staying in Singapore for the weekend .. keep calm .. keep calm .. it's only two days .. it'll be over quick and easy .. no sweat .. breath ... breath ... I WANNA GO TO TAIPEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE ISLAND

2005-07-22T02:40:00.000-07:00

Ewan McGregor , star of many of my favourite movies , the mindfucking Trainspotting , the sappy and oh so romantic Moulin Rouge and even the epic of all epics Starwars .. why ..? WHY ?? Your too good for "The Island" .. Tom cruise , Bruce willis or even William Hung could have filled in this role . The movie promised so much but failed to deliver in so many areas . It could have been an inteliigent take on cloning and the ethical issues but they somehow just seem to breeze thru this and hope we feel for it .. It could have been an ultra cool sci-fi futuristic blockbuster action movie like minority report but no ; somehow they seem to favour the rough and raw close ups and flashing , undechiperable images ala Alexender . Scarlett johansson is pretty easy on the eyes but she fails to bring depth to her rather confused herione trying to hold her own against Ewan's male counterpart . Somehow the island just seemed to leave me wanting and dissapointed as it could have been so much more . I give it 6/10 .

Riddle me this ..

2005-07-22T02:00:00.000-07:00

This is a riddle ,
whoese in the middle ?
on my mind just everyday ,
sad to say she's in Taipei ,
makes me smile , this lovely lass ,
YES! it's my darling omniass
...hahahahahhaha.....

Red Wire or Blue Wire

2005-07-20T02:45:00.000-07:00

10 seconds....Isn't life all about making decisions ? To choose what to do and then to stick by it no matter what . . . 5 seconds .. no regrets .. i hate regrets .. anytime it might just blow in your face .. don't worry .... 3 seconds . . it's gonna be alright this time ...2 seconds ... this time its gonna work ... it's gotta work ... "SNIP" . . . . . . is this calm from the fact that it didn't blow or cause i'm already en route to heaven ..? Still waiting in purgartory i guess ... . . .. ...... .

I sleep with my girls thurman & Juliet

2005-07-20T00:20:00.000-07:00

the world's spinning backwards

2005-07-19T05:26:00.000-07:00

So much for trying to be consistent in this Blog thing . It's been like five days but i'm back . So much has happened in the last five days my heads still spinning forward .. but maybe's its cause the world's spinning backwards .. but time doesn't go backwards when the world spins that way like in the superman shows ya .. or i could just relive the last five days over and over and over again... thou its gonna be really boring to watch SIN CITY for like the 208th time ... talking about that show .. what a show .. violent wouldn't even start to describe it .. but heh .. i think it's alright alittle sick but alright .. apperently miss kim was more interested in her dreams as compared to the movie but i know how subways have a thing for making people fall asleep after a hearty meal .. at least you'll be saved from the nightmare inducing vivid imigary of SIN CITY. haha .. Should have guessed when u turned into dead weight .. but it's good , rest is good for recuperating ..and you need to recuparate .. I had shopping and gay men lavishing attention on me .. NewUrban Male is so Gay that you can't even confirm whoese gay and whoese not .. they all look so gay .. even YOU look gay when your inside .. just feel this general sense of awkwardness when i'm inside buying clothes , changing and even breathing .. notthing against gays but just that i have had BAD experiences with gay sales people .. anyway bought a new top for like 69.90 .. over priced but i've always wanted a nice white sweater .. always wanted nice white things .. white is nice ... i'm really running out of adjectives ..

Let's start from the begining ... hope to see you at the end

2005-07-14T19:51:00.000-07:00

SO here i am finally getting started on this blog thing .. it's been ages since i wrote anything concrete or constructive .. but i guess this wouldn't be considered concrete or constructive . But its nice to let out some of that crazy energy and warped mindless concepts thats simmering , NO! Boiling and treatening to over flow from the little brain of mine . So be prepared to be let into the mind of a mad man caught up in a even madder world trying to make out whats been thrown into his life .. things may get wierd and sometimes even random .. too random .. too off the track but thats how life is sometimes right..?? ? -_- ? RIGHT???? hmmmm...